One of the hardest things in life to do should be simple but is sometimes extremely difficult. I am talking about speaking up to ask for help, in this post we are specifically talking about when you are struggling with mental health.
There are many concerns and fears that come with asking for help.
The First one I want to talk about is you believe you are a burden when you approach that person to ask for help. Being a burden means to have something heavy that we place on them. As though we are being a bother to them to an extreme degree because of the weight of the situation. You may believe that whatever it is you struggle with will wear them out mentally and physically as it has you. It could be that you feel as though you will hold them back from living the life they desire, you don’t want to be a disruption. We feel this way about asking for help because of the negative voices that creep into our heads. These negative voices start saying things to you such as you are not worthy of their help, all your doing is being a nuisance, or things like I don’t deserve to be happy. When we allow these negative voices to creep into our heads and we start to believe what they are telling us, it affects how we perceive ourselves, how we act, and let others treat us. Know that it is normal to feel this way when seeking help from someone. But just because it is normal, does not mean it’s right or you should let this feeling stop you from asking for help. Because that is all this really is, is a feeling you have. You have people in your life that love you that care about you. They want you to come to them and ask for help regardless of what you are going through so they can help you. This is what your true friends are for, this is what your family is for. To not look at what you’re going through as a burden but to do whatever it takes to help you through whatever battle you are fighting inside.
When struggling, people are very hesitant to ask for help from others, because just like you they believe it is a sign of weakness. This can be due to the fact your family along with your friends perceiving asking for help as being weak. But this could not be more wrong. Yes, In life we do need to be independent at times, but also we need help from others, especially when we are struggling. There are many reasons people believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. One of those reasons is when you ask for someone’s help this means you are not strong enough to do it on your own, which can be deflating to your ego. Your ego gets deflated due to the culture we live in now a day. Which makes people believe when you are unable to do something on your own and need to ask someone for help especially men, that you are weak, not strong enough. He impacts females a great deal but also men, when you are called weak as a man your masculinity is questioned by others and can be very embarrassing. Men are supposed to be strong, there be able to get through anything they are faced with, they’re supposed to carry any load that is thrown at them without help. So, you will be looked down upon by others if you cannot get through it on your own. Therefore, people go to such great lengths to do it on their own at any cost, because they don’t want this label of being weak, especially men.
Another reason asking for help Is looked at as a weakness is because when you become vulnerable you open about what imperfections you have or have had in your life. Again, the culture we live in has tried to also make us believe when having imperfections in life, like it’s is a sign of weakness, as though you are not worthy or enough. But the truth is, when you become vulnerable and speak up to ask for help it is a sign of courage to open up about what you are going through, it is a sign of strength to admit you have imperfections, it’s a sign of having compassion for yourself to accept you are struggling and need someone to help you not a sign of weakness. When you become vulnerable people get to know the real you, ‘you show up as your true self. You start to take the mask off you have been wearing this whole time to try and make people believe you are someone you are not. Being vulnerable is not an easy thing to do, it can be scary. But there are things in life you are not going to want to do because they are very scary and being vulnerable is one of those things. But if you can see past the emotions and feelings and you can see how this will help you get the support and help that you need to get through this struggle you are going through right now then it will be worth it to be vulnerable.
Facing the “unknown” is often very scary. The “unknown” is largely what fuels our anxiety with “what if” worries and can often lead you to not act. Speaking up for help is a scary and anxious thing to do because there are a lot of unknowns when doing so. One of those unknowns is how others will judge us when asking for help. But do, know you are not alone in having these thoughts of believing you will be negatively judged when asking for help. A large part of this is the fact you think your parents or garden whoever looks after you will be disappointed, angry, or downplay what you are going through. I am sure Another concern is fear, if your friends or classmates find out about your struggle, they will make fun of you or not be your friend anymore. the reality of it is though, you have no idea how they are going to react; you think you know but you really do not.
One of the reasons for your fear of other people’s judgments on you for speaking up is partly due to you telling yourself what is going to happen before it even happens. What I mean is, you are picturing in your head your mother, your father, or whoever you are thinking about approaching to have this conversation with. yelling at you or being angry when you ask them for help. Or maybe you are picturing your friends at school laughing at you, making fun of you, or not accepting you anymore when they find out about what you are going through. So Why are you thinking this way? why are you playing out these reactions in your head? you are judging yourself, based on what you think about yourself. You Envision your parents being mad and yelling at you because they would never accept the decisions, I have been making you think to yourself and will be angry with me. But it is you who does not accept the decisions you have been making and are angry at yourself. Or you believe when your friends find out about what you’re struggling with, they will think your weak because you think what you are going through makes you weak. Therefore, it is crucial to realize that the most important judgment on you in life isn’t your parents, your friends, or your sibling but your own. Because it’s the judgment you walk around with every day that you tell yourself that you listen to and that you act on. It is not the judgment of others that truly scares you into not speaking up. It is the judgment that you are putting on yourself that is putting the fear which is holding you back from taking this action.
Although speaking up about what your struggling with is one of the hardest things to do for the above and other reasons. It can also extremely rewarding, helping you to release all of the pressure and weight you carry around because of what you’re going through. There are things in life that are going to be hard and you are not going to want to do but can positively impact your life, this is one of those things. Speak up and ask for help.